Why Does Prayer Hurt?

When asked, “what is your prayer life like” do you often answer with a non-committal “it’s ok”? When a sermon is delivered that emphasizes personal and family prayer do you feel cut in the spirit? After those heartfelt admonitions and stirring reasons to keep the prayer lines open with God, why is it so hard to actually PRAY?

While driving home from work, a radio pastor was outlining all the benefits of prayer. I myself have often described the Thursday Night Prayer Service at Bible Baptist Temple as a time of refreshment, but many times I almost dread the short drive to the church. Not because of the people or the fellowship or the service. It is being in the presence of God and His Holiness that disturbs me the most. Approaching the Throne of the Creator of the Universe via the Blood of Christ and knowing, deep down, my life is nearly as far from God’s plan for me as it was when I was a godless pagan. After the service I do feel refreshment, but the anticipation of prayer can be unnerving. Even maintaining the discipline for personal prayer and meditation on a daily basis seems nigh impossible at times.

Of course the short answer to this dilemma is the further away from God’s plan for our lives we are the more uncomfortable the Holy Spirit makes our souls during prayer. Prayer indeed does hurt; when we are far from the Light of Truth. It hurts our spirit, it pinches our guilt, it hurts our sense of the Holiness of God. But what we must understand is this pain is not punishment. God sent His Son to die on the cross so that we could AVOID the eternal punishment of the Lake of Fire. Even the mere fact that God sends the rain on the wicked as well as the good demonstrates that He is longsuffering and does not “willy-nilly” throw punishment around the firmament.

I want to pray more, I see the physical manifestations of the benefits of prayer in my life all the time. But we are taught, either by an immature church or pagan society in general, to treat our prayers as “sniper shots” at God. The misguided thinking being if we send up too many prayers God will begin to ignore us or dodge our requests. That thinking has a kernel of truth to it, but it is far from the ideal God has established for us.

God is not our celestial ATM machine; if we visualize money we will get money in return. Nor is the lie true that the bigger our gift to the ministry the larger the return we will realize from God. But some, to compensate for those errors, run to the other extreme. We try and handle our problems and deficiencies on our own, independent of God and His Providence. We won’t bother God unless we have a “real emergency” on our hands.

Both situations, insisting God MUST comply with our every whimsical desire because we asked for it, and the extreme response against the “name it claim it” crowd, the “I won’t bother God unless it is really important” camp, are completely antithetical to the scriptural view of prayer. Prayer isn’t about getting, even though that is a component. Prayer isn’t about punching the time clock and murmuring out a few memorized prayers like rehearing from a script. Prayer isn’t even about helping others.

It is the only part of the “relationship with Christ” that is truly the relationship. It is intimate time with God. When I approach Him after a great time apart, when the filthy rags that is my life gets close to Jesus and God the Father and their Holiness, of course I am going to feel ashamed, just as the prodigal son felt shame. I have been away from the relationship, by my own choosing, and coming back always feels worse and worse the longer one has been away.

Prayer hurts not because God is making it hurt. Through prayer we are getting reacquainted with someone so Holy and so Just and so Loving that the unapproachable Light in which He lives spills over us and we rightly cringe and shudder. But, when we are in prayer, regular, healthy, spiritually mature prayer, we become accustomed to that Light. It’s power and brightness does not overwhelm us with despair because of our low estate. Instead the light, and warmth, and love of God illuminates our path so that we begin to know the Plan He has for our lives.